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  • Dan Smith will

    confess he likes the sound of wet farts

  • Dan Smith will

    win 2 Oscars by directing All Dogs Go to Heaven 3

  • Dan Smith will

    look at you stone- eyed while taking a crunch.

  • Dan Smith will

    be in the final episode of LOST.

  • Dan Smith will

    represent the Lullaby League.

  • Dan Smith will

    live vicariously through Dan Jones.

  • Dan Smith will

    delete his browsing history.

  • Dan Smith will

    not go out like this. not if he can help it.

  • Dan Smith will

    be on you like white on rice

  • Dan Smith will

    Sub In Clapton. Not.

  • Dan Smith will

    take a penny

  • Dan Smith will

    poke-poke-poke-poke-poke yer face

  • Dan Smith will

    pull a quarter right out of your ear!

  • Dan Smith will

    never tell you his real age

  • Dan Smith will

    never gonna survive unless he gets a little crazy.

  • Dan Smith will

    renounce the pentatonic scale

  • Dan Smith will

    never remove his Levi’s jeans

  • Dan Smith will

    overstay his welcome.

  • Dan Smith will

    bring back Creepy Crawlers

  • Dan Smith will

    feign art appreciation.

  • Dan Smith will

    go cuckoo for coco puffs!

  • Dan Smith will

    teach you long division.

  • Dan Smith will

    abuse his water usage in his apartment

  • Dan Smith will

    defecate in your litter box

  • Dan Smith will

    squat 500 lbs.

  • Dan Smith will

    date the president’s daughter

  • Dan Smith will

    Walk Your Maltese

  • Dan Smith will

    not tolerate your back-talk.

  • Dan Smith will

    sucka bona

  • Dan Smith will

    put his balls in your mouf

  • Dan Smith will

    velcro his shoes.

  • Dan Smith will

    fight for women’s rights.

  • Dan Smith will

    offer a reward for whomever finds Snuzzle

  • Dan Smith will

    request an aisle seat.

  • Dan Smith will

    eatchur baby

  • Dan Smith will

    shovel your walk.

  • Dan Smith will

    not double down.

  • Dan Smith will

    eat his burger well done. Ketchup on the side.

  • Dan Smith will

    shave your back

  • Dan Smith will

    Get you love drunk off his humps

  • Dan Smith will

    teach you to hold a guitar

  • Dan Smith will

    possess your heart

  • Dan Smith will

    not tell a lie

  • Dan Smith will

    rape your horses and ride away on your women

  • Dan Smith will

    need more jiggawatts

  • Dan Smith will

    sodomize you

  • Dan Smith will

    tuck you in at night

  • Dan Smith will

    eat your soul.

  • Dan Smith will

    get you drunk

  • Dan Smith will

    dance with the devil by the pale moonlight

  • Dan Smith will

    pass the dutchie on the left hand side

  • Dan Smith will

    one day learn how to unclasp a bra

  • Dan Smith will

    see you in 15-20. he “thought” she was 18.

  • Dan Smith will

    express his dislike for clap tracks.

  • Dan Smith will

    always love Lee: real. comfortable. jeans.

  • Dan Smith will

    reveal what’s so god-damned funny.

  • Dan Smith will

    go ass to mouth

  • Dan Smith will

    seduce Glenn Beck

  • Dan Smith will

    mock your progress

  • Dan Smith will

    never throw away his flowbee

  • Dan Smith will

    sodomize him self

  • Dan Smith will

    dig in the water

  • Dan Smith will

    go anal-oral if the price is right

  • Dan Smith will

    not digg this.

  • Dan Smith will

    ☞ɷ☜

  • Dan Smith will

    ✈ ▌▌

  • Dan Smith will

    rename himself “The Artist Formerly Known As Dan Smith”

  • Dan Smith will

    shoot you with laser eyes.

  • Dan Smith will

    ne’er amount to anything.

  • Dan Smith will

    rock the casbah

  • Dan Smith will

    tuck his wiener in between his legs

  • Dan Smith will

    proclaim this the summer of george

  • Dan Smith will

    throw it on the ground

  • Dan Smith will

    cry himself to sleep after discovering this page.

  • Dan Smith will

    burn down the Metropolitan Opera House

  • Dan Smith will

    finger your pee hole

  • Dan Smith will

    kill Chuck Norris

  • Dan Smith will

    raise his hand

  • Dan Smith will

    obey the voices…

  • Dan Smith will

    eat your children.

  • Dan Smith will

    .i.am

  • Dan Smith will

    be or not to be

  • Dan Smith will

    be outside Popeye’s, eatin’ chicken ‘n fries

  • Dan Smith will

    make you feel like a lady again.

  • Dan Smith will

    be first in line @ sarah palins book signing

  • Dan Smith will

    sip champagne when he’s thirsty

  • Dan Smith will

    Keep It Off Your Wave

  • Dan Smith will

    Go For Seconds.

  • Dan Smith will

    Show You The Meaning of Being Lonely

  • Dan Smith will

    Teach You The Meaning of Pain

  • Dan Smith will

    ask for donations

  • Dan Smith will

    fart rainbows

  • Dan Smith will

    sell you an albino

  • Dan Smith will

    gorge himself on sauerkraut tonight

  • Dan Smith will

    eat your face

  • Dan Smith will

    rape the willing

  • Dan Smith will

    jiz his pants

  • Dan Smith will

    discover uranium.
    Again.

  • Dan Smith will

    not take it anymore

  • Dan Smith will

    question everything

  • Dan Smith will

    bring back the Sega channel

  • Dan Smith will

    never beat Earth Worm Jim

  • Dan Smith will

    have hos in different area codes

  • Dan Smith will

    never walk alone

  • Dan Smith will

    give you proof he had an affair with Tiger Woods

  • Dan Smith will

    invest in a self-scalping kit

  • Dan Smith will

    be exposed as the leader of an ivory smuggling ring

  • Dan Smith will

    make this life worthwhile

  • Dan Smith will

    touch you with a protractor

  • Dan Smith will

    return to Narnia

  • Dan Smith will

    not be attending Sarah Palin’s book signing

  • Dan Smith will

    never blink

  • Dan Smith will

    lead the boyscouts

  • Dan Smith will

    respect his wife

  • Dan Smith will

    pop his severe back acne to the Aladdin soundtrack

  • Dan Smith will

    make his adam’s apple jostle about

  • Dan Smith will

    sing 3-part harmonies. By himself.

  • Dan Smith will

    cough blood

  • Dan Smith will

    wake you up with a stiffy

  • Dan Smith will

    cast in bronze in this position when he dies

  • Dan Smith will

    make Brian Gumble look like Malcolm X

  • Dan Smith will

    open for Bone Thugs N Harmony

  • Dan Smith will

    ruin your mom’s surprise party

  • Dan Smith will

    call you Nana

  • Dan Smith will

    eventually.

  • Dan Smith will

    not teach you shit.

  • Dan Smith will

    understand. He’s been there.

  • Dan Smith will

    not bring attention to your ill-timed boner.

  • Dan Smith will

    Smith your Dan.

  • Dan Smith will

    love you, and only you, the most.

  • Dan Smith will

    ignore you.

  • Dan Smith will

    wreck your shit. straight up.

  • Dan Smith will

    fuck on the first date

  • Dan Smith will

    never travel to Paris

  • Dan Smith will

    build this city

  • Dan Smith will

    endanger species

  • Dan Smith will

    ignore your yeast infection

  • Dan Smith will

    never learn how to play Stairway to Heaven

  • Dan Smith will

    shriek like a banshee

  • Dan Smith will

    squeeze his cheeks for hours a day

  • Dan Smith will

    pus

  • Dan Smith will

    call his sister tomorrow

  • Dan Smith will

    devour your spinalcord

  • Dan Smith will

    say Boomshakalaka repeatedly

  • Dan Smith will

    remake The Crying Game

  • Dan Smith will

    show you his two peglegs

  • Dan Smith will

    put sugar in your gas tank

  • Dan Smith will

    open his mouth wider than imaginable

  • Dan Smith will

    rock you like a hurricane.

  • Dan Smith will

    crash the White House wearing only a pink tutu.

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