• Tweet
  • Dan Smith will

    make you squeeeeel [sic] like a pig

  • Dan Smith will

    claim he loves that game with the oblong ball

  • Dan Smith will

    patiently sit right here.

  • Dan Smith will

    not like this one bit!

  • Dan Smith will

    ljkjl j lj jlj jlkjkkk jkl jl

  • Dan Smith will

    drink like, 20 beers after work

  • Dan Smith will

    say he read that book, but, like, a long time ago

  • Dan Smith will

    date aspiring actresses

  • Dan Smith will

    say he saw the movie
    then nod as you talk about it

  • Dan Smith will

    buy The Economist and leave it out for you to see

  • Dan Smith will

    yell at his TiVo

  • Dan Smith will

    work at Borders

  • Dan Smith will

    sell you a Metrocard swipe

  • Dan Smith will

    be like “I didn’t even want to anyway, so…”

  • Dan Smith will

    cry during Nerf gun fights

  • Dan Smith will

    frame his ‘Labyrinth’ poster

  • Dan Smith will

    shit in your mailbox.

  • Dan Smith will

    Suck his own cock.

  • Dan Smith will

    now show you his sex face:

  • Dan Smith will

    Buy you organic beet juice for breakfast

  • Dan Smith will

    will let you put it ANYWHERE

  • Dan Smith will

    probably sue

  • Dan Smith will

    will fuck many a fat chick

  • Dan Smith will

    date a fat chick

  • Dan Smith will

    , or will he?

  • Dan Smith will

    watch all of Steven Seagal’s movies back to back.

  • Dan Smith will

    fist pump like it’s nobody’s business

  • Dan Smith will

    eat a live baby

  • Dan Smith will

    superman that ho!

  • Dan Smith will

    kill the person that glued him to this chair…

  • Dan Smith will

    LEEEROY JENKINS!!!

  • Dan Smith will

    always keep his hands folded, just like this:

  • Dan Smith will

    die

  • Dan Smith will

    have flashbacks and piss his slacks

  • Dan Smith will

    disturb you with his randomness.

  • Dan Smith will

    question your very being.

  • Dan Smith will

    Never be ‘On a Boat’

  • Dan Smith will

    suck you sideways.

  • Dan Smith will

    take the blame for all your anon neg-reps

  • Dan Smith will

    suck a cheetah’s dick

  • Dan Smith will

    try out for the Blue Man Group

  • Dan Smith will

    only need Colt 45 and 2 zigzags.

  • Dan Smith will

    start out with good intentions

  • Dan Smith will

    say “no” to Newports

  • Dan Smith will

    feed off of your lack of self-confidence

  • Dan Smith will

    mix in too much flour and ruin dinner

  • Dan Smith will

    buy you a new house

  • Dan Smith will

    be distrubinglyrandom(.com)

  • Dan Smith will

    fathom Lou Diamond Phillips

  • Dan Smith will

    get pudgy

  • Dan Smith will

    bludgeon you with his “ax”

  • Dan Smith will

    show you fear in a handful of dust.

  • Dan Smith will

    shower you in dextrose

  • Dan Smith will

    teach you fear

  • Dan Smith will

    cheer up wiener dogs

  • Dan Smith will

    be standing on the beach with his guitar

  • Dan Smith will

    sleep with your mom?

  • Dan Smith will

    say you are the green balls from the rock

  • Dan Smith will

    eat schmegma!

  • Dan Smith will

    touch Emily Shepard

  • Dan Smith will

    masterbate

  • Dan Smith will

    tell you what it’s like in Hell

  • Dan Smith will

    sleep, because that’s when he’s a viking

  • Dan Smith will

    hunt people

  • Dan Smith will

    get a bad case of meth mouth

  • Dan Smith will

    kill james

  • Dan Smith will

    finger you like a fretboard

  • Dan Smith will

    touch you in your no-no place

  • Dan Smith will

    teach Ed McMahon guitar before he dies

  • Dan Smith will

    do anything to get you to like him

  • Dan Smith will

    point his toes inward & shake his knees

  • Dan Smith will

    peacock

  • Dan Smith will

    make you regret your lack of faith in Dan Smith

  • Dan Smith will

    teach you Constitutional Law

  • Dan Smith will

    Egon Spengler

  • Dan Smith will

    be your messiah

  • Dan Smith will

    offer Dave his eternal love.

  • Dan Smith will

    slide a finger or two down the crack of that ass

  • Dan Smith will

    give fry the froggybottom shoes

  • Dan Smith will

    touch David’s thighs lightly.

  • Dan Smith will

    do it, Rockapella

  • Dan Smith will

    get all up in them guts, girl.

  • Dan Smith will

    do anything for love, but he won’t do that

  • Dan Smith will

    blow up the Death Star

  • Dan Smith will

    separate the Gordian Knot

  • Dan Smith will

    let you see that thong, tha thong thong thong

  • Dan Smith will

    spread his seed like jelly on toast

  • Dan Smith will

    host the Oscars next year

  • Dan Smith will

    be watching his carbs and working on his figure

  • Dan Smith will

    think about Snoopy

  • Dan Smith will

    shank to avoid being anyone’s bitch

  • Dan Smith will

    teach you non-Euclydean geometry

  • Dan Smith will

    teach you keegles

  • Dan Smith will

    FUCKING KILL ALL YOU BASTARDS FOR WRITING ALL THIS SHIT ABOUT ME

  • Dan Smith will

    find this blog

  • Dan Smith will

    demand more cowbell

  • Dan Smith will

    pad his invoices

  • Dan Smith will

    will find Waldo quicker than you.

  • Dan Smith will

    vote for bush

  • Dan Smith will

    put his thing down flip it and reverse it

  • Dan Smith will

    wear out your butt plug

  • Dan Smith will

    wear Prada

  • Dan Smith will

    become a shift manager at Arby’s

  • Dan Smith will

    do pretty well at trivia

  • Dan Smith will

    swallow every last drop. Mmmm. Yes you will Dan!

  • Dan Smith will

    resonate his balls at 440 hz for coke

  • Dan Smith will

    burst your ovaries

  • Dan Smith will

    breathe heavily on an elevator with you

  • Dan Smith will

    lick his own nipples

  • Dan Smith will

    get to the center of a tootsie pop

  • Dan Smith will

    eat penis.

  • Dan Smith will

    be the little spoon.

  • Dan Smith will

    have a posse, someday.

  • Dan Smith will

    demand his MTV

  • Dan Smith will

    need a pacifier & Vic’s vapor rub

  • Dan Smith will

    dance

  • Dan Smith will

    flip the yayo.

  • Dan Smith will

    will not be televised

  • Dan Smith will

    give you erectile dysfunction

  • Dan Smith will

    give your wiener an indian rug burn

  • Dan Smith will

    Schneider

  • Dan Smith will

    never play guitar again.

  • Dan Smith will

    beat you in a staring contest.

  • Dan Smith will

    fist you.

  • Dan Smith will

    fully infringed our contract to fuck

  • Dan Smith will

    chingar tu madre

  • Dan Smith will

    llevarte hasta la victoria, siempre

  • Dan Smith will

    love you forever and ever

  • Dan Smith will

    be america’s next top model

  • Dan Smith will

    buy the Neverland ranch

  • Dan Smith will

    haunt your soul

  • Dan Smith will

    name that tune in two notes

  • Dan Smith will

    make Charles Manson look like Martin Luther King

  • Dan Smith will

    deny his albino heritage

  • Dan Smith will

    iron your face

  • Dan Smith will

    consume approximately 340 pounds of bacon in his lifetime

  • Dan Smith will

    forget his name if it weren’t for his posters

  • Dan Smith will

    eat a bag of dicks

  • Dan Smith will

    play rhythm guitar in Jesse and the Rippers

  • Dan Smith will

    shoot Dick Cheney in the face

  • Dan Smith will

    will try acid once and slip into a permanent trip.

  • Dan Smith will

    organize your closets

  • Dan Smith will

    buy stock in pork bellies

  • Dan Smith will

    teach you how to masturbate

  • Dan Smith will

    challenge you to a friendly game of Russian roulette

  • Dan Smith will

    let my people go

  • Dan Smith will

    remaster every Toad the Wet Sprocket album

  • Dan Smith will

    make sure your kids graduate college

  • Dan Smith will

    roshambo with you

  • Dan Smith will

    USE ALL CAPS

« Previous 1 … 4 5 6 7 8 … 29 Next »