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  • Dan Smith will

    attempt sexual battery in Lincoln Park.

  • Dan Smith will

    ASDFGHJK

  • Dan Smith will

    Suck a Cock

  • Dan Smith will

    Get money, fuck bitches

  • Dan Smith will

    shit in jordans mouth

  • Dan Smith will

    teach phone sex

  • Dan Smith will

    eat blue waffles for breakfast.

  • Dan Smith will

    be your daddy

  • Dan Smith will

    rock you like a hurricane

  • Dan Smith will

    stare into your eyes

  • Dan Smith will

    stare at your ass sudectivley.

  • Dan Smith will

    back trace you.

  • Dan Smith will

    show you his nutsack.

  • Dan Smith will

    Teach you how to dougie.

  • Dan Smith will

    Eat your puddin pops.

  • Dan Smith will

    teach you the rusty trombone

  • Dan Smith will

    shave off his pubes and glue them to your face.

  • Dan Smith will

    destroy the rainforest with all his flyers.

  • Dan Smith will

    seek revenge on all of youu !!!

  • Dan Smith will

    will no longer like amy thompsonfor what she just

  • Dan Smith will

    finally stop perving on little boys

  • Dan Smith will

    Inturupt Kanye West.

  • Dan Smith will

    change is clothes… eventually.

  • Dan Smith will

    will sell you this crappy chair.

  • Dan Smith will

    take his pants off

  • Dan Smith will

    dress you up like lenny kravitz.

  • Dan Smith will

    make you into a human centepede

  • Dan Smith will

    burgle your turds

  • Dan Smith will

    make the snake shake!

  • Dan Smith will

    never age

  • Dan Smith will

    dance to Shakira for three hours today.

  • Dan Smith will

    teach you to behave, pig.

  • Dan Smith will

    win any staring contest.

  • Dan Smith will

    become a New York in-joke

  • Dan Smith will

    not be called a gay fish

  • Dan Smith will

    win the 33rd annual lumberjack competition

  • Dan Smith will

    touch my genitals

  • Dan Smith will

    think Jimmy Fallon is Justin Long & vice-versa

  • Dan Smith will

    be disappointed that the genie can’t grant unlimited wishes

  • Dan Smith will

    Ite, Ite, Ite, Ipples and Bininis

  • Dan Smith will

    teach YOU how to finally eat out that pussy

  • Dan Smith will

    be the first man on Jupiter

  • Dan Smith will

    teach Meredith Guitar. (Seriously)

  • Dan Smith will

    eat Fruity Pebbles in a horse trough

  • Dan Smith will

    eat your children

  • Dan Smith will

    doody

  • Dan Smith will

    greet you at the door with a frying pan.

  • Dan Smith will

    stick his dick in an electrical socket.

  • Dan Smith will

    morph into a zebra.

  • Dan Smith will

    shed his skin twice a year

  • Dan Smith will

    throw a kid into the sun

  • Dan Smith will

    successfully change his name to “Boomer the Dog”

  • Dan Smith will

    Humphrey your Bogart

  • Dan Smith will

    fill a CamelBak with bloody mary mix

  • Dan Smith will

    occasionally peruse kiddie pool brochures

  • Dan Smith will

    always, always, temporarily

  • Dan Smith will

    spit or swallow. Your call.

  • Dan Smith will

    not remember tonight.

  • Dan Smith will

    drop it drop it low

  • Dan Smith will

    touch you innapropiately when mom isnt in the room

  • Dan Smith will

    not be racist, nigga

  • Dan Smith will

    make you feel all tingly inside

  • Dan Smith will

    creepily look at you.

  • Dan Smith will

    Light it up like its dynamite

  • Dan Smith will

    suck your cock

  • Dan Smith will

    fuck your face

  • Dan Smith will

    Sit On This Chair.

  • Dan Smith will

    suck a dick.

  • Dan Smith will

    Kill your Dog.

  • Dan Smith will

    s on tome t’s

  • Dan Smith will

    eat Olie tonight

  • Dan Smith will

    bite you

  • Dan Smith will

    find work…LOL JK

  • Dan Smith will

    rock out to hannah montana

  • Dan Smith will

    eat his guitar

  • Dan Smith will

    find a single gray hair on his elbow.

  • Dan Smith will

    eat raw potatoes

  • Dan Smith will

    bite the hand that feeds

  • Dan Smith will

    send horse meat to his mother on mother’s day

  • Dan Smith will

    put a finger up Wilson Stamm’s hairy butthole.

  • Dan Smith will

    wait…who the fuck is dan smith?

  • Dan Smith will

    be awesome

  • Dan Smith will

    teach you guitar.

  • Dan Smith will

    get a better smile.

  • Dan Smith will

    wait…what?

  • Dan Smith will

    shit on his own balls

  • Dan Smith will

    become a licensed masseuse. o yea?

  • Dan Smith will

    lick his butthole

  • Dan Smith will

    ☞ɷ☜…twice

  • Dan Smith will

    eat a spicy cockmeat sandwich, and like it.

  • Dan Smith will

    get pink socked

  • Dan Smith will

    rape Adam Lieber.

  • Dan Smith will

    find Waldo

  • Dan Smith will

    kill midgets and fuck sluts, and he’s all outta sluts

  • Dan Smith will

    teach you Lotus Notes

  • Dan Smith will

    go to Staten Island and like it

  • Dan Smith will

    not be tamed

  • Dan Smith will

    snatch the last potato pancake. NOOO!!!!

  • Dan Smith will

    snatch white girls, obama

  • Dan Smith will

    suck little kids

  • Dan Smith will

    teach Babit the guitar and then try and hump him.

  • Dan Smith will

    step the step

  • Dan Smith will

    schwaang the schwaang

  • Dan Smith will

    break into prison

  • Dan Smith will

    dress up as Tom Kite for halloween

  • Dan Smith will

    pimp slap the meter maid

  • Dan Smith will

    eat the whole thing

  • Dan Smith will

    be dan smith

  • Dan Smith will

    sit on your face

  • Dan Smith will

    shit on this chair while holding a guitar. Seriously.

  • Dan Smith will

    stop the oil spill.

  • Dan Smith will

    blow you. Fo free

  • Dan Smith will

    wax your car for you

  • Dan Smith will

    make you some killer pot brownies, bro.

  • Dan Smith will

    tell you about his ketchup fetish.

  • Dan Smith will

    moderate your next intervention.

  • Dan Smith will

    stroke your G string.

  • Dan Smith will

    get traded to Miami. Everybody will be pissed.

  • Dan Smith will

    do whatever the fuck Dan Smith wants to do.

  • Dan Smith will

    make you a nice press kit

  • Dan Smith will

    shoot your parents

  • Dan Smith will

    hunt you down…

  • Dan Smith will

    Choco-Dance.

  • Dan Smith will

    em Dafoe

  • Dan Smith will

    sit and spin.

  • Dan Smith will

    do a barrel roll.

  • Dan Smith will

    poke holes in the condom.

  • Dan Smith will

    accidentally trip Chuck Norris, just because…

  • Dan Smith will

    walk into your room naked at night! Try it free!

  • Dan Smith will

    show you his manjina

  • Dan Smith will

    spunk in your eye

  • Dan Smith will

    retrieve the paper in a robe that exposes his ass.

  • Dan Smith will

    Dan Smith Will

  • Dan Smith will

    ejaculate in your mouth.

  • Dan Smith will

    build a moat around his apartment

  • Dan Smith will

    order a narwhal for his above-ground pool

  • Dan Smith will

    wear a lace condom

  • Dan Smith will

    submit 1,000s of lolcats

  • Dan Smith will

    never beat StarCraft

  • Dan Smith will

    ask Tina Fey on a date via stalking

  • Dan Smith will

    never say “No.”

  • Dan Smith will

    hurt your children

  • Dan Smith will

    ask for the laser background

  • Dan Smith will

    pull out if you ask nicely.

  • Dan Smith will

    explain why

  • Dan Smith will

    name his first child ed hardy

  • Dan Smith will

    Suck Frank Dry.

  • Dan Smith will

    reach around without asking

  • Dan Smith will

    Have Sex With Minors

  • Dan Smith will

    fall in love with you

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